A little bit of honesty - We are nearly their baby boy.03:07
Yesterday I turned 37 weeks. 37 weeks of ups and downs growing my little boy. Since day one, I have been open and honest about pregnancy and its trials and tribulations. Of course that doesn't take away from the fact that I am so excited to be this little man's Mummy, but I haven't felt the need to put on this face that pregnancy is perfect because if we are honest with ourselves, its a blooming hard job growing another person. Your dignity goes out the window with one minute you have terrible gas (sometimes you don't even realise you have let one go) to laughing so hard that you wee yourself a little. Oh and don't get me started with trying to get out bed in the mornings, roll roll roll. Sleeping becomes non existent but you get told "Hannah you best get used to that, as you wont get much sleep when baby is here" You find yourself inundated with opinions some wanted of course but others that are just plain rude. So rude that as that person is talking to you, you drift off into your own fantasy where you find yourself slapping this person numerous times and screaming in their faces. Some people just don't know how to talk to a pregnant women.
Of course some days it is wonderful and I love just being able to lay on the bed watching my belly move in all shapes. 'Oh look there's his ummmm, yeah I'm not sure what that is' I haven't mastered the technique of baby mapping at all and I think maybe in a way thats a good thing. I have spent a few days since my last scan worrying that our little guy has moved from head down and I am convinced he is transverse. Thats ok though because I have to let things go their natural course. I can't spend my nights waking and the first thing I think of is, I'm going to have to go to hospital to have this baby.
As some of you know, I am having a home birth. A lovely natural home birth. *giggles* Well thats the plan of course. From day one I said a home birth would be the best place for me due to my anxiety. It was a battle with my brain for a few months until one day I sat down and told Lee what I was thinking and course he felt the same as myself. So we have planned a natural birth at home, birthing pool, Sleeping At Last in my playlist and a hopefully I shall put into my practice my breathing techinques I have learnt. However, lets face it were babies are concerned you can't really plan too much and that is something I must get into my head. That what will be will be. Relax and go with the flow. As long as he is safe and well thats all that matters, my feelings do not.
Mumma Bears to be kind to yourselves. Don't be afraid to be honest when you are feeling like all you want is to cry in to your pillow. As women we feel like we have to pretend to the public that we are this blushing pregnant women who are strong, who are loving every minute of having our inside completely abused. I like to think my tummy is a little like that sketch of all the stairs upside down and in the wrong place. I believe its called Relativity. Don't ever feel like you can't moan about how you are feeling, remember what an amazing thing you body is doing. Appreciate yourself and also those that really do support you. Those are the people that listen to your moans at 3am.
As for me, baby could come any day and I can't wait to finally be able to start this next adventure. This new challenge. I worry a lot but I know with the support of my husband and family it will all be fine. I won't be afraid to make mistakes as after all you don't have lessons on how to be a good parent do you.