20 WEEK SCAN - Gender announcement06:15
So as you all must know by now we had our 20 week scan on Monday 12th October. I didn’t think we would be as nervous as we were but both of us got in the car and the nerves just hit, like a tone of bricks on our heads.I felt a panic attack coming on so decided to be open and honest with Lee about how I was feeling.
I was feeling guilty. Guilty? Why would I feel guilty. Since I got pregnant I kept telling myself I couldn’t have a preference on the sex I had. If someone would ask I would always say I don’t really mind. It wasn’t till Monday that I realised that actually I did have a preference and all of sudden I felt this deep down guilt. I felt awful that I could in a few hours be feeling deflated because it may have not been the sex I was hoping for. Of course no matter what the outcome I would love our child dearly, there was no question about that. A child is a blessing boy or girl. For me, from the start I had this gut feeling I was having a boy and maybe that helped towards my want. I wanted a boy more than anything.
To my surprise Lee took my hand and said that he was glad I was honest as he was hoping for a boy as well. Knowing that the man I love felt the same as me was a weight of my shoulders. Although we were still nervous we decided that of course what will be will be, we will love them no matter what.
So to cut the story short, we sat nervously in the waiting room to be called in. We took deep breaths and walked in the scanning room. We saw our babies, feet, hands, nose, heart all sorts. It was really mesmerising. 20 mins later after be overwhelmed all day we were greeted with the news we were waiting for. "You are having a lovely little boy". We looked at each other and smiled a lot. We were over the moon. Our baby boy! In that moment our hearts grew even bigger.
Now we can look forward and prepare the world for this gorgeous little man growing inside me. Goodness me do we have some adventures ahead of us.